PLANET SCHMANET
Frank Rocky! How could you? (slaps Janet)
Dr. Scott (To Brad, who's guiding his wheelchair) This way, this way.
(General mayhem as Frank chases Janet. Riff Raff and
Magenta laugh, until Riff suddenly says "Shut Up!")
Riff Raff { echo } Shut up!
Planet Schmanet
Frank I'll tell you once; I won't tell you twice.
You'd better wise up, Janet Weiss. { "Did you say rice?"
throw RICE }
You apple pie don't taste too nice.
You'd better wise up, Janet Weiss. { "Did you say rice?"
throw RICE }
I've laid the seed; it should be all you need.
You're as sensual as a pencil; would up like an E or first
string.
When we made it, did you hear a bell ring? { ring BELL }
Ya gotta block? Well, take my advice.
You better wise up, Janet Weiss. { "Did you say rice?"
throw RICE }
The transducer will seduce ya.
Janet { echo } My feet! I can't move my feet!
Dr. Scott { echo } My wheels! My God, I can't move my wheels!
Brad It's as if we're glued to the spot! { echo "My socks! I
can't move my socks! }
Frank You are! So quake with fear, you tiny fools!
Janet We're trapped!
Frank (sung) It's something you'll get used to. A mental mind
fuck can be nice.
Dr. Scott You won't find Earth people quite the easy mark you
imagine. This sonic transducer... it is I suppose, some
kind of audio-vibratory physio-molecular transport device?
Brad { echo } You mean... { "A vibrator!" }
Dr. Scott Yes, Brad, it's something we ourselves have been working on
for quite some time. { "a working vibrator" } But it seems
our friend here has found a means of perfecting it. { "a
perfect vibrator" } A device capable of breaking { "a
broken vibrator?" } down solid matter and then projecting
it through space and, who knows, perhaps even time itself.
{ "Dr. Who's vibrator" }
Janet You mean he's going to send us to another planet?
Frank Planet, schmanet, Janet!
You better wise up, Janet Weiss. { "Did you say rice?"
throw RICE }
You better wise up, build your thighs up,
You better wise up...
Narrator And then she cried out...
Janet Stop! { echo "More" }
Frank Don't get hot and flustered! { "What do you do when you run
out of KY jelly?" }
Use a bit of mustard.
{ throw HOTDOGS on "you're a hotdog!" (optional) }
Brad You're a { echo "Stick a" } hot dog, { "up your" } but you
better not try to hurt her, { "Oscar Meyer" } Frank
Furter.
(Magenta throws a switch on the wall labeled Medusa and
Brad turns to stone)
Dr. Scott You're a { echo "Stick a" } hot dog, { "up your" } but you
better not try to hurt her, { "Oscar Meyer" } Frank
Furter.
(Magenta throws a switch on the wall labeled Medusa and
Dr. Scott turns to stone)
Janet You're a hot dog --
{ "Shut up. It wouldn't have rhymed anyway" }
(Magenta throws a switch on the wall labeled Medusa and
Janet turns to stone)
Columbia My God! I can't stand any more of this! { "Then sit down" }
First you spurn { "Sperm?" } me for Eddie, and then you
throw him off like an old overcoat for Rocky! You chew
people up and then you spit them out again... I loved
you...d'ya hear me! I loved you And what did it get me? {
"A hole in your shirt!" } Yeah, I'll tell you -- a big
nothing. { "at least it was big!" } You're like a sponge.
You take, take, take, and drain others of their love and
emotion. Yeah, well, I've had enough! { "Peek-a-boo" }
You're gonna choose between me and Rocky, so named because
of the rocks in his head.
{ "That Columbia what a bitch, quick Magenta throw the
switch!" }
(Magenta throws a switch on the wall labeled Medusa and
Columbia turns to stone)
{ "BLT: Bigger Left Tit" "Now we know which side Eddie
slept on" }
Frank It's not easy having a good time...
(Magenta throws a switch on the wall labeled Medusa and
Rocky turns to stone)
{ "What a great party, everyone's either plastered or
stoned" }
Even smiling makes my face ache... { "then bite your
knuckle and talk to a big red door" } and my children
turn on me... Rocky's behaving the just the way Eddie did.
{ "Show us your only virgin orafice" } Do you think I made
a mistake, splitting his brain between the two on them?
(Magenta walked over to where Frank is. Riff Raff follows)
Magenta Ahhh! I grow weary of this world! When shall we return to
Transylvania, huh?
{ As Frank speaks the next line and Magenta's head starts
turning towards Riff "Going... going..." when she stops
moving her head "Gone!" }
Frank Magenta, I am indeed grateful to both you and your brother
Riff Raff. You have both served me well. Loyalty such as
yours shall not go unrewarded. You will discover that when
the mood takes me, I can be quite generous.
{ "How much for a blow job?" }
Magenta I ask for nothing... { "I'll take two!" } nothing.
Frank And you shall receive it... in abundance!
{ "Fe Fi Fo Fum, First I jack off then I" or "What's your
favorite high protein breakfast food?" }
Come, we are ready for the floor show.
{ "Look out for the finger; if you touch it, it's statutory
rape!" }
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