DR.SCOTT'S ARRIVED
Riff Raff Owwwwwwwww! { "Say thank you! ...say it in French!" }
Mercy! (Being whipped by Frank)
Frank How did it happen? { "Beats me, but I have a hunch" } I
understand you were to be watching...
Riff Raff I was only away for a minute... { "Doing what?" } master {
"bating" }
Frank Well, see if you can find him on a { "How's your forehand?
Looks ok." } monitor. { "How's your backhand? Needs work."
}
Riff Raff Master, master... we have a visitor.
Brad Hey, Scotty! { "Beam me up, there's no intelligent life
down here" } ...Dr. Everett Scott.
Riff Raff You know this earthling... this person?
Brad Why yes. He happens to be an old friend of mine.
Frank I see. So this wasn't simply a chance meeting. { "No, it
was a date" } You came here with a purpose. { echo "...on
a porpoise. It was a dolphin!" }
Brad I told you, my car broke down. I was telling the truth. {
"Assholes don't lie, they just shit a little" }
Frank I know what you told me, Brad... But this Dr. Everett
Scott, his name is not unknown to me.
Brad He was a science teacher at Denton High School.
Frank And now he works for your government, doesn't he, Brad?
He's attached to the bureau of investigation of that which
you call UFO's!!! Isn't that right, Brad?
Brad He might be... I don't know.
Riff Raff The intruder is entering the building, master.
Frank He'll probably be... entering the Zen room. Shall we
inquire of him in person?
{ "Not the triple-contact fagot magnet!" }
(Pause)
{ When Dr. Scott passes through Columbia and Magenta's
room, "Ring around the lesbians" }
Brad Great Scott! { throw TOILET PAPER or PAPER AIRPLANES}
Dr. Scott Frankenfurter, { "Count Chocula" } we meet at last. { "No,
we meet at first." }
Brad Dr. Scott! { "Put 'er there!" }
Dr. Scott Brad! What are you doing here? { "Getting good head" }
Frank Don't play games, Dr. Scott. You know perfectly well what
Brad Majors is doing here. It was part of your plan, was
it not? That he and his female { echo "she-male" } could
check the layout for you. Well, unfortunately for you all,
the plans are to be changed. { "Not heterosexual sex
again" } You must be adaptable, Dr. Scott; { "Is Brad
gay?" } I know Brad is.
Dr. Scott I can assure you that Brad's presence here comes as a
complete surprise to me. I came here to find Eddie.
Brad Eddie! I've seen him!
Frank Eddie! What do you know of Eddie, Dr. Scott?
{ "Get snotty Scotty" }
Dr. Scott I happen to know a great deal about a lot of things. You
see, Eddie happens to be my nephew. { echo "sexlife" }
(Frank gasps and releases the magnet. Dr. Scott rolls back
a couple feet)
(Janet orgasms)
Brad Dr. Scott.
Janet Ah!
Dr. Scott Janet!
Janet Dr. Scott!
Brad Janet!
Janet Brad!
Frank Rocky!
(Rocky flips his head toward Frank)
{ "Bullwinkle!" or "Ugh!" }
Dr. Scott Janet!
Janet Dr. Scott!
Brad Janet!
Janet Brad!
Frank Rocky!
(Rocky looks at Frank with quickly lessening interest)
{ "Bullwinkle!" or "Ugh!" }
Dr. Scott Janet!
Janet Dr. Scott!
Brad Janet!
Janet Brad!
Frank Rocky!
(Rocky once again gleams at Frank, getting very upset)
{ "Bullwinkle!" or "Ugh!" }
{ "All present and accounted for, sir!" salute }
Frank Listen... I made you... and I can break you just as easily.
(to Rocky)
{ "Say something southern?" }
Magenta (Rings gong) Master, dinner is prepared!
{ "What do you think of oral sex?" }
Frank Excellent. Under the circumstances, formal dress is to be
optional. { "To-ga, to-ga..." }
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