GO TO THE CASTLE
Nixon I have never been a quitter... To leave office before my
term is completed is abhorrent to every instinct in my
body. But as President I must put the interests of America
first. America needs a full time president... and a full
time congress...
{ All sorts of nifty stuff is done here... for example,
raise arms and sway to the windshield-wipers and sing
kumbayah (sp!). Another neat one is for one person
(usually associated with the cast in some way) to imitate
the wipers on misc. drugs... }
Janet Gosh, that's the third motorcycle that's passes us. { "No
it's the first, bitch!" } They sure do take their lives in
their hands, what with the weather and all.
Brad Yes, life's pretty cheap to that type. { "So is Janet!" }
Janet Oh. ...What's the matter, Brad darling? { "I got cum on
the windshield" }
Brad We must have taken the a few miles back.
Janet Oh, but where did those motorcycles come from? { "do-do-do-
do..." etc. to twilight zone theme }
Brad Hmmm... well I guess we'll just have to turn back. { "No,
don't turn back!" }
(Boom!)
Janet Oh! What was that bang? { "a gang bang!" }
Brad We must have a blowout. DAMMIT! I knew I should have gotten
that spare tire fixed. { "Asshole!" } Well, you just stay
here and keep warm and I'll go for help.
Janet But where will you go in the middle of nowhere?
{ "What's white and tastes like shit?" or "Try the castle!"
}
Brad ...Didn't we pass a castle back down the road a few miles?
{ Cheers! } Maybe they have a telephone we could use. {
"Castles don't have phones, asshole!" repeat whenever
appropriate }
Janet I'm going with you.
Brad Oh, no, darling, there's no sense in both of us getting
wet. { "She's already wet!" }
Janet I'm coming with you! Besides darling, the owner of that
phone might be a beautiful woman { "He is!" } and you
might never come back. { "You should be so lucky!" }
Brad Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey.
{"Brad, kick the tire if you're an asshole!"}
(they get out of the car, Brad kicks the tire) {
NEWSPAPERS over heads, start with the SQUIRT GUN }
{ at the sign: "If you don't risk it we won't have a movie"
or "Risk it, risk it!", etc... }
Over At The Frankenstein Place
Janet In the velvet darkness,
Of the blackest night,
Burning bright, { "What's up your ass?" } there's a
guiding star. { echo "there's a brand new car" } {
"That must hurt!"}
No matter what or who you are.
Brad & Janet There's a light... { light MATCHES on 'light' }
Chorus Over at the Frankenstein place.
Brad & Janet There's a light...
{ "Where's Santa Claus?!" }
Chorus Burning in the fireplace.
{ MATCHES out on 'darkness' - "Darkness, you virgins!" if
any lights still on }
Brad & Janet There's a light, light in the darkness of everybody's life.
(The following section exists in the stage performance)
Brad I can see the flag fly
I can see the rain
Just the same, there has got to be
Something better here for you and me.
Brad & Janet There's a light...
Chorus Over at the Frankenstein place.
Brad & Janet There's a light...
Chorus Burning in the fireplace.
Brad & Janet There's a light, light in the darkness of everybody's
life.
{ "Sing to use, oh hairless one!" }
Riff Raff The darkness must go down the river of night's dreaming.
Flow morphia slow, let the sun and light come streaming
{ "It's the amazing shrinking Riff Raff" } Into my life.
Into my life...
Brad & Janet There's a light... { MATCHES again }
Chorus Over at the Frankenstein place.
Brad & Janet There's a light...
Chorus Burning in the fireplace.
There's a light, a light
Brad & Janet ...in the darkness of everybody's life { off on 'darkness'
}
{ "Betsy Ross used to sit at home and sew, and sew and
sew... }
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