SWEET TRANSVESTITE
Janet Brad, please, let's get out of here.
Brad For God's sake keep a grip on yourself.
(music cue softly at first, crescendo up)
{ stomp in time to Frank, or "Heel, Toe,..." }
Janet But it... it seems so unhealthy here.
Brad It's just a party, Janet.
Janet Well -- I want to go.
Brad Well we can't go anywhere until I get to a phone.
Janet Well then ask the butler or someone.
Brad Just a moment, Janet -- we don't want to interfere with
their celebration.
Janet This isn't the Junior Chamber of Commerce, Brad.
Brad They're probably foreigners with ways different than our
own. They may do some more folk dancing.
Janet Look, I'm cold, I'm wet, and I'm just plain scared
Brad I'm here -- there's nothing to worry about.
(Janet screams and faints)
Sweet Transvestite
Frank How do you do, I
See you've met my
Faithful handyman. { echo "hand-job man" }
He's just a little brought down
Because when you knocked { "He rang." }
He thought you were the candyman.
Don't get strung out { "on drugs" or "like a tampon" } by
the way I look.
Don't judge a book be its cover.
I'm not much of a man by the light of day { "No shit!" }
But by night I'm one hell of a lover. { echo "But by night
I'm one sick mother-fucker!" }
I'm a just a sweet transvestite
From Transsexual, Transylvania. { echo "From San
Francisco, California." }
Let me show you around
Maybe play you a sound.
You look like you're both pretty groovy. { "Bull shit!" }
Or if you want something visual { "Like a movie?" }
That's not too abysmal, { "Like a movie?" }
We could take in an old Steve Reeves Movie { "Who the fuck
is Steve Reeves?" }
Brad I'm glad we caught you at home,
Could we use your phone?
We're both in a bit of a hurry.
Janet { "Left" } Right. { "Left" }
Brad We'll just say where we are,
Then go back to the car. { echo "Then go fuck in the car"
}
We don't want to be any worry { echo "I want to fuck Tim
Curry" }
Frank Well you got caught with a flat, well, { echo } how 'bout
that?
Well, babies, don't you panic.
By the light of the night it'll all seem all right.
I'll get you a satanic mechanic. { "S&M" }
I'm just a sweet transvestite { "Boom-chicka-boom-chicka-
boom" }
From Transsexual, Transylvania.
Why don't you stay for the night?
Riff Raff { echo } Night.
Frank Or maybe a bite?
Columbia { echo } Bite. { "Bite not lick bitch!" }
Frank I could show you my favorite obsession. { "Sex!" }
I've been making a man { "Not him!", or "You call that a
man?" }
With blond hair and a tan { "You call that a tan?" }
And he's good for relieving my { "sexual" }... tension.
I'm just a sweet transvestite { "Check him out..." }
From Transsexual, Transylvania.
{ echo } HIT IT, HIT IT!
I'm just a sweet transvestite
Columbia, Riff Raff, Magenta Sweet transvestite
Frank From Transsexual,
Frank, Columbia, Riff Raff, Magenta Transylvania.
Frank So { "What?" }, Come up to the lab, { "I can't cum that
far" }
And see what's on the slab. { echo "And fuck me on the
slab" }
I see you shiver with antici - (Three seconds) { "SAY IT!"
} - pation.
But maybe the rain
Isn't really to blame. { "No Sue's to blame (Blane)!" }
So I'll remove the cause { echo "your clothes" }...
(Chuckles) { "What about the nasty little symptom?" }
But not the symptom.
(applause)
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