TIME WARP
{ "Look! It's Scooby-Doo on acid!" }
Janet Brad, let's go back, I'm cold and frightened...
Brad Just a moment Janet, they might have a phone.
{ "Ding-dong asshole calling, avon couldn't make it." }
{ "Door-gasm!" as Riff opens the door }
{ "Say Jello in Spanish" or "What's satanic jello?" }
Riff Raff Hello.
{ "Brad, how do you feel?" }
Brad Hi! My name is Brad Majors, and this is my fiancee, Janet
Weiss. I wonder if you could help us. You see our car
broke down a few miles up the road... do you have a phone
we might use?
Riff Raff { "Feel between Janets legs." } You're wet.
{ a) "Are you a slut?" } { b) "Do you have your waterproof
vibrator with you?" }
Janet Yes - { a) "How's the weather?" } { b)"Why?" } - it's
raining.
{ "Are you an asshole?" }
Brad Yes.
{ "Riff, are you high?" }
Riff Raff Yes...
{ "God, are you gay?" ...lightning strikes, illuminating
motorcycles. "You weren't supposed to see that!" }
I think that perhaps you both better { "Fuck off" } come
inside. { "I don't care where you cum, as long as you
clean it up." }
Janet You're too kind.
{ "Brad beat off your jacket! Janet, get that condom out of
your hair!" }
{ "Can you see the domestic in this picture?" "No there's
a slut in the way!" }
Oh Brad, I'm frightened. What kind of place is this?
Brad Oh, it's probably some kind of hunting lodge for rich
weirdoes. { "Yay rich weirdoes" }
Janet Oh. (forlornly)
{ "Riff, how do you finger-fuck your sister?" }
Riff Raff This way.
{ "Follow the bouncing thumb" }
Janet Are you having a party? { "No, it's my sister's bat
mitzvah" }
Riff Raff You've arrived on a very special night. It's one of the
master's affairs. { "Which one?" }
{ echo the next line }
Magenta You're lucky, He's lucky, I'm lucky, we're all lucky! ha ha
ha ha ha
{ echo "The banister's lucky!" over "we're all lucky" }
{ "No it's not, she's got wood-worms!" }
(clock chimes seven times) (note: the clock reads 6
o'clock)
The Time Warp
{ "What do you think of my penis?" }
Riff Raff It's astounding;
Time is fleeting; { "What's you favorite rock group?" }
Madness { "they suck!" } takes it's toll. { "so does New
Jersey" }
But listen closely...
{ "For how long?" }
Magenta Not for very much longer.
{ "How many ball's you got?" }
Riff Raff I've got to keep control. { echo "Smoke a bowl!" }
I remember doing the time-warp. { "Kick Kick" }
Drinking { "Jack Daniel's" } those moments when
The darkness would hit me
Riff & Magenta And a void would be calling...
Transylvanians Let's do the time-warp again.
Let's do the time-warp again.
{ Here are the instructions: Do it! }
Narrator It's just a jump to the left.
All And then a step to the right.
Narrator With you're hands on you hips. { echo "tits, or somebody
else's" }
All You bring your knees in tight.
But it's the pelvic thrust { "oooo ahhh" or "group sex"
with each thrust }
That really drives you insane.
Let's do the time-warp again.
Let's do the time-warp again.
Magenta It's so dreamy, oh fantasy free me.
So you can't see me, { "do you douche?" } no, not at all.
In another dimension, with voyeuristic intention,
{ "Where's your tits?" } Well secluded, I see all.
Riff Raff With a bit of a mind flip { echo "Fuck" over flip }
Magenta You're into the time slip. { "Fuck that bird!" }
Riff Raff And nothing can ever be the same. { argue about the
doughnut being a bagel or the other way around }
Magenta You're spaced out on sensation.
Riff Raff Like you're under sedation.
All Let's do the time-warp again.
Let's do the time-warp again.
Columbia Well I was walking down the street just having a think
When this snake of a guy gave me an evil wink.
He shook me up, he took me by surprise
He had a pickup truck, and the devil's eyes.
He stared at me and I felt a change.
Time meant nothing, never would again.
Narrator It's just a jump to the left.
All And then a step to the right.
Narrator With you're hands on you hips. { echo "tits, or somebody
else's" }
All You bring your knees in tight.
But it's the pelvic thrust { "oooo ahhh" or "group sex"
with each thrust }
That really drives you insane.
Let's do the time-warp again.
Let's do the time-warp again.
(Columbia tap dances)
{
2, 4, 6, 8 Show us how you masturbate
3, 5, 7, 9 We know you do it all the time
1, 2, 3, 4 Dance you little fuckin' whore
}
{
2, 4, 6, 8 Show us how you mastubate
3, 5, 7, 9 We know you do it all the time
10, 20, 30, 40 now we know you're really horny
4, 6, 8, 10 Clean it up and start again
}
{
2, 4, 6, 8 Show us how you mastubate
3, 5, 7, 9 We know you do it all the time
4, 6, 8, 10 Do it for us once again
5, 7, 9, 11 Suck my dick and go to heaven
6, 8, 10, 12 She's so hot she'll blow a valve
}
{ after any of these "4, 6, 8, 10" and the movie finishes
it }
{ "Don't fall... Don't fall... Awww!" }
All Let's do the time-warp again.
Let's do the time-warp again.
Narrator It's just a jump to the left.
All And then a step to the right.
Narrator With you're hands on you hips. { echo "tits, or somebody
else's" }
All You bring your knees in tight.
But it's the pelvic thrust { "oooo ahhh" or "group sex"
with each thrust }
That really drives you insane.
Let's do the time-warp again.
Let's do the time-warp again.
{ collapse out of exhaustion! }
Janet Brad, say something. (whispered)
Brad Say, do any of you guys know how to Madison?
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